Corporal Discipline (aka corporal punishment and spanking) is strongly supported by God in the Bible
Last Updated April 28, 2008
Secular "experts" and misguided Christians who dispense advice
to the contrary are responsible for many of the discipline problems
experienced by parents and schoolsCorporal Punishment spanking strongly supported God Bible Christian proverbs hitting discipline abuse www.stophitting.org paddling paddle pediatricians doctors psychologists psychiatrists secular experts discipline problems home schools parents
Recent (March, 2008) changes in some of our positions on this topic - New
For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.
1 Corinthians 3:19Introduction
Many secular "experts", including most pediatricians, psychiatrists and psychologists have come out strongly against the use of corporal discipline in homes and in schools. Unfortunately, many well-meaning parents have been deceived by the foolish advice of the "don't spank" crowd. One only needs to go to a local grocery store or mall, or visit a typical public school to see the negative fruits of this misguided advice. We are not suggesting that spanking is the only option that parents should have to deal with willful disobedience in their children. Neither are we suggesting that it's acceptable to take it to abusive extremes. What we are saying is that it is a God ordained method of discipline, that there are situations where it's the best option, and that completely ruling it out as a discipline option as the "don't spank" advocates would have us to do is in direct conflict with God's advice to us on how we should be dealing with defiance in our children.
It has been my personal experience that people who consider all forms of corporal discipline to be "abuse" or "hitting" or "violence" mislead others in three ways:
They often quote studies where actual abuse is mixed in with corporal discipline that is administered out of love for the child.
They always ignore what their Creator has to say on the matter, or are ignorant of it. If they claim to be Christians, they approach their bible study on this matter doing eisegesis instead of exegesis. As a result they end up engaging in all kinds of tortured bible interpretation in an attempt to try to force the Bible to support what they believe.
They place a higher value on secular studies and fallible doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists instead of obeying the advice of the infallible God who created all of them, and who demands of us that we do things His way.
If you're interested in learning how to raise your children using training and discipline methods that work well, then ignore the secular "experts". Instead, seek out conservative Christian materials and experts on the topic. As the father of six children, I know from first-hand experience that these methods work very well, and that they have virtually none of the alleged negative side-affects the don't spank advocates claim they do.
But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.
1 Corinthians 2:14What God tells us to do
1. Spanking is a valid form of discipline
God tells us that for willful disobedience and defiance, that corporal discipline is an appropriate form of discipline. He also says that parents who refuse to ever use this form of discipline "hate" their children.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 13:24
Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15
Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14
2. Use of a rod is the only biblical way to administer it
Dowel Rod
(click on thumbnail to see larger image)The use of paddles, hands, belts, whips or anything other than a rod falls outside of what God says we are supposed to do in terms of administering corporal discipline. We believe that Dr. Davis did his homework in his video titled "What the Bible has to say about spanking" on this matter. He concluded that a thin dowel rod most closely matches the 'rod' of discipline being referred to in the Bible for children. He built a pretty strong biblical case for its use. We encourage you to watch his video to gain a better understanding of why God chose this particular implement above all others. A dowel rod can be purchased at any home improvement store. We prefer the 1/4" diameter for our medium aged children and a slightly thinner one for the younger ones. You'll need to use your best judgment as to what's best for you, but it's probably a good idea to stay away from ones that are too thick and rigid (use common sense).
[if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod [is] for the back of him that is void of understanding. Proverbs 10:14
Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15
Withhold not correction from the child: for
3. The only place corporal discipline is allowed is on the buttocks
The word "buttocks" doesn't appear anywhere in the King James Bible in reference to discipline methods. However, we can conclude from exegesis that the word "back" in the verses below are most likely referring to the buttocks.
In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod [is] for the back of him that is void of understanding. Proverbs 10:13
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
4. We should not feel guilty about spanking our child
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18
5. A child who's throwing a temper tantrum should be promptly disciplined
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15
6. No disrespect of the parents should be tolerated
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having children not accused of riot or unruly. Titus 1:6
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) Ephesians 6:1-2
Children, obey [your] parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians 3:20
7. Reasons God gives for having well disciplined, respectful children:
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work [be] pure, and whether [it be] right. Proverbs 20:11
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14
The father of the righteous shall greatly
rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise [child] shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. Proverbs 23:24-25Better [is] a poor and a wise child than an
old and foolish king, who will no more be admonished. Ecclesiastes 4:13One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) I Timothy 3:4-5
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat [him] as a
father; [and] the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. Honour widows that are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. I Timothy 5:1-4
7. Parents should not use corporal discipline when angry
It is important that parents "cool off" first if they are angry before disciplining their children. The reasons for doing this go beyond the obvious one of not abusing them. The discipline and training is also much more effective when the child can plainly see that you're doing it out of love and not anger.
8. Parents shouldn't abuse their children either mentally or physically:
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, provoke not your children [to anger], lest they be discouraged. Colossians 3:21
What about "Christians" who abuse their children?
Most of us have seen at least one news media report where some person or group that claims to be "Christian" was being investigated for what appears to be genuine child abuse. I've seen a few news reports like this over the years. I have also seen some of the "don't spank" advocates point to those stories as examples of why they are right, and we are wrong. The problem is that they're comparing apples and oranges. When considering the whole counsel of God on this matter, it is clear that He in no way sanctioned the physical or mental abuse of their children. The people who engage in this kind of abuse are acting outside of what God says they should be doing. Pointing to them as examples of what the Bible teaches and what Christians in general are doing is highly misleading. The overwhelming majority of Christian parents do not engage in abuse of their children. When real abuse does occur, it occurs with people of all religions. If you are discerning, you won't be deceived by these misleading tactics.
For those who are looking for guidance from experienced parents who use these God mandated teaching, training and discipline methods, seek guidance from the ones who have well-behaved, respectful, God-fearing children. Get opinions from several Christian parents who obey God on these matters if you can. Children can be so different, so a variety of opinions can be helpful. Some of our children were very compliant children from the get-go. Others had (and still do have) very strong wills and are much more of a challenge to parent. Try to find parents who have children who's personalities are similar to your own children.
In addition to talking with experienced parents, approach your parenting like you would a earning college degree. Educate yourself, and keep up-to-date as your children grow older and their personalities, training and discipline needs change. We have found the following resources to be excellent ones and highly recommend them to others.
Related Links
Resources
(As time permits, we'll add more resources to this list)
Books
What the Bible says about Child Training
Author: J. Richard Fugate
ISBN: 0-86717-000-XThe Strong-Willed Child
Author: Dr. James Dobson
ISBN: 0-8423-0664-1Dare to Discipline
Dr. James Dobson
ISBN: 0-8423-0631-5Christian books on creative discipline techniques, burnt out parents, dealing with divorce, stress on children, etc.:
Videos
What the Bible has to say about spanking (our #1 pick)
Author: Dr. S. M. DavisHow to train up a child in the way he should go
Author: Dr. S. M. DavisFor parents who discipline their children in anger, especially on a frequent basis, these videos will be especially helpful to you:
www.drsmdavis.com/module/store/vbc/2/
For parents who have given it their very best effort, but who still have strong-willed children who refuse to bend their will to your authority or to God's, we recommend these tapes:
www.drsmdavis.com/module/store/vbc/11/
In our opinions, Dr. Davis has the very best video/DVD collection on family issues we have ever seen anywhere. We highly recommend all of his products (we personally own about 20 of his videos). See all of his materials at his online store at this link. There are some especially good videos that address the issue of why parents should never discipline their children out of anger.
www.drsmdavis.com/module/store
Christian Counselling
Focus on the Family Christian Counselor Referral Service
Or call them at (719) 531-3400 from 9:00 AM - 4:30 PM Mountain TimeYou are also encouraged to talk with your own pastor. Some of our pastors have been very valuable sources of biblical information and insight to us on a variety of matters related to the training, teaching and disciplining of our six children.